What the Hell is John McCain Thinking?

During an interview on KFYI-AM in Phoenix this Tuesday, Senator John McCain said he is considering another run for the presidency.  McCain said, "I'm seriously thinking about maybe giving another opportunity for you to vote for or against me in a few years from now…I’m seriously giving that a lot of thought.”

Well, John, let me be the first to ask, what the hell are you thinking?  Do you realize that you will be 80 years old in 2016?  Do you realize that you were demolished in the 2008 Presidential election?  You were so far down in the polls you, in a moment of desperation, chose Sarah Palin to be your running mate! 

I will admit, much has changed since 2008.  The progress out of the “Great Recession” which began in the final months of Bush’s presidency has not been pretty.  The Department of Labor announced only 148,000 jobs were added to the economy in September, good for a 50,000 job decrease from August and 184,000 less than the 2013 high point in February.

The whole “hope” and “change” thing President Barack Obama campaigned on en route to victory hasn’t really panned out either.  Our Nobel Laureate had done so much to end partisan gridlock that our government took a 17 day vacation was shut down for 17 days.  Even though bin Laden was killed and al-Qaeda is certainly on the run, the real foreign policy/national security issues today aren’t pretty.  In response to Syria crossing a “red line” by using chemical weapons and killing hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, Russia swooped in a brokered a peace agreement.  In response to international criticism on our drone and indefinite detention policies, we have done… basically nothing. 

Perhaps the U.S. does need the original maverick in the Oval Office.  If nothing else, the GOP could definitely use a senile sensible, bipartisan curmudgeon candidate to even out the 2015-16 primary races.  Let’s take a quick glance at some of the 2016 GOP hopefuls:

Ted Cruz – A Tea Party darling who almost single-handedly shut down the government.  This first-term Texas Senator has had his eyes on 2016 since his first day in office.  Is also a OJ Simpson-like narcissist.  The Washington Post published a fantastic article on Cruz today.

Scott Walker – The current governor of Wisconsin who refused to let his state employees collectively bargain for their benefits.  Also a Tea Party favorite who would at least bring some executive experience to the table.

Rick Santorum – Did you know Santorum lost his 2006 Pennsylvania Senate reelection bid by 17 points (58.6% - 41.3%).  His loss was the largest margin of victory by an incumbent in the 2006 elections.  Inexplicably, this far right wing conservative won the Iowa caucuses and was runner-up to Mitt Romney in 2012.  He also wants to ban internet porn.

Marco Rubio – A fairly good looking, young freshman senator from Florida.  Cuban parents, articulate, and kept his head down during Shutdown 2013.  Seems like a reasonable candidate.  Also did this.

Rand Paul – Son of perpetual candidate Ron Paul.  Little P (as we call him now) filibustered the Senate to draw attention to Obama’s drone program, specifically civilian surveillance.  He maintains his dad’s civil libertarian streak, but seems to be a more astute national politician.  The down side is that he is a Dook nerd and will probably piss off every Republican before it’s all said and done.

Rick Perry – Yep, ole Rick has decided to end his reign as Texas governor to focus on his future.  I’m assuming his decision is little more than smoke and mirrors to distract the public while The Governor learns how to memorize very short lists so this doesn’t happen again.  Rick, please run.  I want your buffoonery back in my life.

You know, on second thought, maybe John McCain should run for president.  At least we know what we are getting.  Plus, if Hillary runs, maybe we can get them to agree to have a nationally televised debate at a K&W Cafeteria.

Wait….what?  Oh crap.  Sorry, John.  I completely forgot about Chris Christie.  Two term Republican governor of a liberal state?  Check.  Can speak conservative, but is becoming increasingly moderate?  Check.  Just flipped on gay marriage so he has a chance to pull socially-liberal moderates?  You bet.  Was once fat, but is now just normally obese?  Bingo.  Christie should do just fine for people who want to vote for someone “just like me.” Savvy politician?  A real American hero? (I might be pushing it now) A maverick?  Yep, all of the above.  Sorry, John.  You have no shot against Christie.  What the hell are you thinking?

Stuff White People Like: A Revival - Post #1: NPR

Perhaps you remember the popular Stuff White People Like blog or you read the book that summarized all white people's likes (and ended the blog). Since those folks haven't posted since 2010, it's high time to revive Stuff White People Like. When you have the sophisticated palate that white people do, there's no doubt a plethora of new things white people have picked up in the past three years.

I'm currently a graduate student, so I have up close and personal every day interaction with white people, and I'm white. Jane Goodall wishes she had this perspective.

White People Love NPR

Nothing says I'm informed, open minded and balanced like turning your dial all the way to the left to catch the local NPR station. I guarantee if I polled my classmates, the majority of them would admit that the #1 preset on their car radio is the local NPR carrier.

"You just can't beat the perspective you get from the BBC News Hour."

"Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a ball of laughs!"

"How does Diane Rehm pull in these guests?!"

"I heard this great new band on the Tiny Desk Series podcast!"

"God I miss Car Talk."

Spend some time with white people and these are just a sample of some of the remarks you might hear. NPR is the last bastion of reliable news. They aren't guided by selling ad time or catering to a political leaning audience. NPR is where you turn to be informed.

You should have seen people's faces light up when I told them the place I was living in DC over the summer was near NPR's studios. "Do they offer tours?" I'm not sure, but I think I could probably give you a feel for the layout. There's probably a receptionist, some offices, cubicles and conference rooms and a few rooms with thick walls, glass windows and microphones.

Thank you for reading. As you may know, Bald Don't Lie doesn't sell advertising. We rely on reader support to provide you with our insight and musings. Please donate what you can, so that we can continue to provide you the stories you desire.

Just kidding. Man, time to turn NPR off and switch on Songza.

The Honest and True NFL Power Rankings, Week 8

I have a small beef with ESPN’s NFL Power Rankings: they have deviated from their original purpose and operate as any normal ranking would. But really, I remember the inception of the power rankings, this beautiful, innovative approach to team evaluation. It has since devolved into utter garbage. Last week in week 7 they very unimaginatively had Denver ranked number one and Kansas City ranked two. This week they’ll have Kansas City ranked as the best team in the NFL, simply because they have an unbeaten record. What analysis. Does anyone actually believe that Alex Smith and the mighty Kansas City Chiefs would beat Denver in a seven game series? Come on.

Thankfully, there is a relief from this journalistic catastrophe: “The True NFL Power Rankings”. My methodology is simple: as things currently stand, what team would win a seven game series (ridiculous proposition in the NFL) against the next team. Who is actually the best?

1)         Denver (6-1) – One standout performance by Robert Mathis doesn’t change how I, or anybody else, should feel about this team. Weird night with tons of penalties and crazy turnovers is an anomaly.

2)         Indianapolis (5-2) – Very impressive win on Sunday night, but you get the feeling this team is still a year or two away from Super Bowl favorites.

3)         Seattle (6-1) – So complete on both sides of the ball, but have been the beneficiary of winning close and loseable games. Not bad when your quarterback is donning cable-knit sweaters in September.

4)         New Orleans (5-1)

5)         Kansas City (7-0) – Seems like pyrite. AKA fool’s gold. Prove me wrong. But seriously how has their schedule been so soft. NOT-SO-BOLD PREDICTION: they win 5 of their last 9 for a 12-4 record, and lost in the first round.

6)         San Francisco (5-2)

7)         Green Bay (4-2)

8)         Cincinnati (5-2)

9)         Dallas (4-3)

10)     New England (5-2) – Baby got back. Baby got a donk. Baby got a Gronk. Baby got Gronk back. Brady got Gronk back. I apologize for the fact that I have never been much of a typist. Yes, Brady got Gronk back, and they still lost.

11)     Detroit (4-3)

12)     Carolina (3-3) – I want to put them higher because I think they are very good, but I don’t trust myself. I know I am emotional after two big wins and Steve Smith’s rant about some no-name, Janoris Jenkins. I will be listening to this before every subsequent flag football game for the rest of my life. And then doing this to anyone who stands in my way.

13)     San Diego (4-3) – I’m probably overrating Phil Rivers. GO PACK! But the so-called “checkdown machine” is actually second in the league in passing yards, first in completion percentage, and second in quarterback rating. Not too shabby for someone that is unequivocally washed up.

14)      New York Jets (4-3) – Let’s not get overly emotional about a win over a lacking New England team.  This team lost to Pittsburgh last week and will probably have it handed to them in the next two weeks. And most importantly, #GenotheGenie only gets three wishes, and one of those was to beat Tom Brady. Really think that nickname has serious potential.

I feel like there is a severe drop-off from the above teams to the rest.

15)     Atlanta (2-4) – Killer injuries.

16)     Arizona (3-4)

17)     Buffalo (3-4)

18)     Philadelphia (3-4)

19)     Chicago (4-3) – I’ve always thought Jay Cutler was underappreciated, but we see his value as the entire city of Chicago collectively held their breath about the status of that MRI. The Bears’ playoff hopes go the way that Cutler’s groin went: torn to shreds. This ranking is the Bears team as they stand today with Josh McCown as QB.

20)     Pittsburgh (2-4) – Really don’t think this team is all that bad, have a good passing game and decent defense, even though it isn’t the neo-Steel Curtain we grew accustomed to.

21)     Baltimore (3-4) – This season’s definition of mediocrity.

22)     Tennessee (3-4) – Read something that Ryan Fitzpatrick’s QBR is second lowest in the league (too lazy to fact check).

23)     Miami (3-3) – This team is in near free-fall.

24)     Washington (2-4)

25)     Cleveland (3-4)

26)     Minnesota (1-4) – Worst Monday Night Football game everrrrrrrr!!!!! But really, it is statistically the worst MNF game this far into the season in the history of MNF. I will watch for the sheer enjoyment of how far the broadcast crew has to dig to provide some modicum of excitement for this game.

27)     Oakland (2-4)

28)     Houston (2-5) – Part of my algorithm for these rankings is whether fans cheer the injury of your own quarterback, who has lead you to multiple playoff births. Has American professional football become the modern day equivalent of the Roman Coliseum? Have we become so desensitized??? HAS OUR CULTURE DEGENRATED TO UNREACHED LEVELS OF DEPRAVITY?

29)     Tampa Bay (0-6) – I mean, Mike Glennon was pretty decent in college.

30)     St. Louis (3-4) – Bradford gone, and the rest of the guys resorting to throwing punches. Count them out.

31)     NY Giants (0-6) – Big chance to get their first win against a team with four backup quarterbacks.

32)     Jacksonville (0-7) – At least they would beat Alabama… maybe.

Forthcoming: “Why the Panthers will make the playoffs” and “Week 10 Power Rankings”.

Chuck and Gene break down the Bobcats 2013-2014 season

The Charlotte Bobcats are an incredible 3-2 in preseason NBA basketball this season.  Vegas has their over-under wins listed at 27.5 (an incredible 20.5 wins more than they had in the strike-shortened 2011-2012 campaign).  Folks, brace yourself for some news:  the Charlotte Bobcats aren't the worst team in the NBA!  It's a great feeling.  So good that my buddy Gene and I had to begin breaking down the Bobcats season via email over the past week.  Here's part I.

Chuck:  As I write this email, the Charlotte Bobcats just tied-up the Atlanta Hawks 72-72 in the first preseason game of the season.  Gene, right off the bat, what gets you excited for this season?

Gene:  I must admit I am very excited about Bobcats Basketball being back in my life; however, I am not very excited about Bobcats preseason basketball.  Currently, I am reading a great piece about Supreme Court Justice Scalia (http://nymag.com/news/features/antonin-scalia-2013-10/), which being about 75% through I recommend, especially when compared to NBA preseason basketball. If I am being honest, I think I am most excited about Steve Martin.  He is by far the most consistent positive in the world of Bobcats.  As an announcer, he brings just the right about of insight mixed in with home team favoritism.  Probably not the answer you were expecting, where you?

Chuck:  Definitely not the answer I was expecting, although your mention of Steve Martin reminds of how much I dislike Time Warner Cable.  Just tonight I was hoping to tune into the Bobcats game, and found the game wasn't on SportsSouth like advertised.  Quick side note:  I read that article earlier, and you are right, it's great.  Scalia is a great justice to study right now.  He has very firm views on the separation of powers and establishing strict domains for the three branches of Congress.  He will be pivotal during the upcoming legislative session.

You got me off the point.  Tonight Bismack Biyombo, the 7th pick in the 2011 draft had 2 points, 2 blocks and 2 rebounds in 22 minutes.  One thing I'm curious to see this season is how Bismack develops with Al Jefferson getting 33 minutes a night at center and Pat Ewing as the big man coach.  If I had to make a bet right now, I'd put my money on not seeing Biz in a Hornets jersey next season.  Thoughts?

(Editor’s Note:  Since Jefferson’s minor ankle injury, Biyombo has been a bona fide rebounding maching, pulling down 39 in three games.)

Gene:  I could not disagree more.  I think Biyombo has the first real chance to shine since we drafted him.  If we know one thing about him, it is that the man knows how to play defense.  He should fit nicely with Jefferson who clearly cannot (Editor’s note:  Jefferson’s defense is horrible, but he says he is working on it).  Having Zeller around should further reduce the offensive burden.  I love the fact that Biyombo is no longer starting.  From what I saw last year, he seems like a hard worker - I think by the end of this year, he will finally stop bringing the ball to the floor after every offensive rebound - an infuriating habit.  Biz finally has the time and talent around him to develop.  I refuse to give up on a man who just a little over a month ago took his first drink of alcohol (I assume, although he may be 36).  The team option for the 2014-2015 of $3.8 million seems reasonable to me, especially when you consider what we have been paying our big men over the last years (Diop earned 7.4 million last year alone).  The bigger question to me, can we possibly be lucky enough to see Biyombo's draft-mate Kemba Walker improve as much coming off his second summer as he did from his first?

Chuck:  I agree with you on a couple points: Biz is relatively cheap, and his D should blend with Al Jefferson down low.  But in the NBA you either have to do one thing extraordinary, a couple things great or everything pretty good.  Bismack is a very good defender - he's quick, rebounds and blocks at a high level.  Dig a little deeper though and you see he numbers are a product of his minutes per game, but not very efficient.  According to basketball-reference.com (go to this website, you are welcome) his defensive rating (points allowed per 100 possessions) last season was 109.  To compare, Al Jefferson's last year was 104 and Marc Gasol's was 98.  To make matters worse, Bismack is atrocious on offense.  He can't shoot a single shot on the court at a high percentage, including dunks and layups.  

So we agree to disagree here.  You are right about Kemba.  The future of the Bobcats sits on his shoulders right now.  I say he's ready to take another step forward.  Jefferson and Zeller should open up the court for Kemba.  Last season he had to be at times the primary scorer and distributor.  That isn't what we need.  Kemba can' try and be Iverson 2.0.  The Bobs need a leader, a true point guard and a solid defender.  Agree?

Gene:  I could not agree more about the leader, though between MKG and Biz we have enough raw defensive talent.  Now that opponents have to consider some scorers other than Kemba, he should have a better chance, but do you think he is the leader of the team?  I see a lot of OK players on this team, but we are still searching for the Superstar.  As much as I hope Kemba takes another step this year, I cannot see it happening.  I love MKG, but I cannot see him developing an offensive game over the summer.  It seems like we are a team that is finally acquiring assets to make a big move when one becomes available.  This season is about finding a NBA level head coach (in true QC fashion, on the cheap), growing the young players, and hoping that a Superstar becomes available in a James Harden-ish type deal.  If your bet is on Biz not being on the 14-15 squad, my bet is on a top level player being in Charlotte – let’s just pray it is a real top level player, not someone like Rudy Gay (http://www.hoopsworld.com/2014-nba-free-agents).

Look for Part 2 in the coming days….

The 2013 NBA Car Accidents (You Shouldn't Look, But You Can't Take Your Eyes Off It)

When it comes to sports these days, the actual games have never mattered so little. Let's face it. Sports are the ultimate reality television show. We love reading the articles about Oklahoma State's hostess program, athletes throwing themselves ridiculous birthday parties with cakes like #2, and athlete's spending six and seven figures on fish for their home aquariums.

No sport brings bizarre athlete decision making to the forefront like the NBA. 10 guys on the court a time, no helmets to obscure one's face. Bizarre stuff is going down for all to see. Even if you know it's going to happen, you can't look away. Here's the top 5 car accidents for the 2013-14 NBA season.

1. The New York Knicks: I'm giddy at the thought of Metta World Peace sharing the court with J.R. Smith. Can you imagine Ray Felton, J.R., Carmelo, Ron-Ron and Andrea Bargnani on the court together at the same time? Points in the paint be damned! I might buy NBA TV just to see Melo post up 18 feet from the basket then skip it over to the other corner to Andrea to hoist a three. That's just the X's and O's. I won't event get into Ron being back in NYC (Queensbridge!) and JR getting on Rihanna's bad side again. 
2. Michael Beasley: Before penning this article, I thought I'd scan the major sports sites for some inspiration. It took me all of three seconds to stumble upon this gem. Is there a prop bet in Vegas on how long Beasley's on the roster? I think Pat Riley is bored or they just really want Spol to earn his money from that new deal.
3. Riggin' for Wiggins!: Who will have the most ping pong balls come Lottery time? The Sixers are in full tank mode. Kwame Brown is the second highest paid player in Philly's second unit at a cool $2.9 million. Vegas lists their over/under win total at 16.5. Just think, Philly and Boston will square off 4 times this season. Something tells me there will be plenty of good seats available. Oh, and expect Phoenix, Utah, Orlando and Charlotte to have ping pong balls as well. Maybe Michael Jordan will contract Dan Gilbert's son? 
4. Javale McGee Released from the Shackles of George Karl's System: The big man expects to up his minutes this season , which means the over/under on must-see YouTube clips for Javale this season is 3.5. I look forward to many more moments like these. 
5. The Great Dwight Hype/Redemption Tour: Dwight's already getting clowned in the Philippines. I can't wait for him to go to the Staples Center, MSG or the Boston Garden. When was the last time you heard a player say he left the Los Angeles Lakers for the Houston Rockets, because he wanted to win a championship?

Honorable Mentions: Time lapse videos of Lebron's hairline receding, Royce White driving from Philly to Milwaukee in February for a road game, Michael Jordan selling his shares in the Bobcats to play one game for them (this according to Jalen Rose), Paul Pierce clowning the Knicks from across the East River, Renaldo Balkman's eyelid tattoos returning to the league, Boogie Cousins playing in his "first" offense.